Below is my application sent to SAFA:
I know you guys are busy trying to solve a crisis but in all honesty, you have nothing to worry about. I am writing this letter to apply for the post of Bafana head coach. I did not attach a C. V as i thought experience is not vital in this job. The post was occupied by a gentleman who had no international experience, hence i believe i am the man for the job. I will be forward with you, i am more interested in the R1.4m a month pay cheque than anything else but since coaching the boys will be my duty, its one i believe i can do. I have won the Barclays Premeir League, the La Liga and the Serie A for 10 seasons in a row playing FIFA 09 on manager mode with the world class difficulty mode. Your previous employee failed to score points but my gaming experience has taught me attacking football. I defeated Norway, Brazil, Argentina, Spain and Germany - playing with Bafana Bafana (on PS 3) something which Santana was unable to do. I further went on to defeat Italy 'the world champs' and England (on PS 2) even though i was playing FIFA 10 for the 1st time at that point. Another advantage i have over Santana and Perriera, I speak English very well and a number of vernacular languages so i will be able to bridge the problem of illiterate players who cannot grasp simple instructions. Now Mr. Nematandani, i am not even going to beat about the bush, R1.4m is a lot of money, i just want to coach the boys for a year then i will resign. I am not promising any victories though and i am sure we can agree that as a soccer federation, you want to build a team. The FIFA World Cup is a stone throw away and one thing i am not is a magician, so lets forget the fairytale of even scoring a goal at the World Cup, and focus on 2014. I trust that my application will be considered as i could use the money and i am sure you guys need a coach too, even though i am unknown, i fit your criteria as you normally choose a bunch of unknowns.