The following questions were set in last year's GED examination. These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)............and they WILL breed.
Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar (well, it is brilliant and most commonly used)
Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire (darn and I had this major explanation ready…)
Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight (the earth is such a selfish place keeping the water all for itself…)
Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election (Gonna major in Biology when I grows up!!!)
Q. What are steroids?
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot yourself now, there is little hope)
Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death (that and……)
Q. What is artificial insemination?
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow (dam thing don’t want to stand still long enough…)
Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?
A. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant)
Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. the abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U… (wtf!)
Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie (hahahaha, and a big lie FABula????)
Q. What is the most common form of birth control?
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium (That would work)
Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)
Q. What is a terminal illness?
A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable)
Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight (brilliant)
Hahaha what is going on here?
I hear that there was earthquake yesterday in JOZI.....it is that thing of talking bad ka Malawi. JZ le ene o zokela wrong people. Those people are worse than ba LIMPOPO....they are masters when it comes to Black Magic.
hahahaha! this is bad tjo.....
A woman passed her daughter's room and
heard a strange buzzing noise. Opening the door, she saw her daughter with a vibrator.
Shocked, she asked why?
The daughter replied, "mom, I'm thirty-five years old, unmarried, and this thing is as close as I'll ever get to a husband. So please, leave me alone."
Next day, the father heard the same buzz and upon entering, he also saw the same scene. To his query, the daughter again said, "dad I"m thirty-five, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. Please, leave me alone."
A couple days later, the wife came home
from shopping and heard that buzzing noise coming from, the living room. On entering she saw her husband sitting on the couch, downing a cold beer, and staring at the TV.
The vibrator was next to him on the couch, buzzing like crazy.
The wife asked, "what the f#*k are you
The husband replied, "I'm watching football with my son-in-law."
What does it say in red?